The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
