Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
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