My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
