So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
