I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
