can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
