I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
