you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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