Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
