If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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