just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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