that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
