I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
