Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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