your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
