I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
