yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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