Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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