It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
