I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
