I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
