Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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