It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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