i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
