If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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