oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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