I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
