I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
