My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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