just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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