Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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