You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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