actually, I'm a sock model
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
