Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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