I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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