I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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