Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
