True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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