I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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