But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
