I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
