I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
