Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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