Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
