Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
