Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Can you bring me the toilet please
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
