what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
