remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
