If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am one with the molecules
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
