My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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