It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
